The first days post-C-section are about rest and recuperation. You'll likely spend 2 to 4 days in the hospital, where midwives and doctors will monitor your healing progress. During this week:
You'll be prescribed pain medications to manage discomfort after surgery. Take them as directed and communicate any concerns to your healthcare team. Staying on top of pain management in the first few days is really important.
Mobilising as early as 6 hours post-surgery is recommended for optimal recovery. Getting up for the first time is going to take lots of effort and most women report this to be the most strenuous and painful time during the recovery period. For adequate coverage, ask your healthcare provider for pain medication prior to mobilising. After getting up for the first time, focus on gentle movements like walking to promote circulation. Avoid strenuous activities and heavy lifting.
Keep the incision clean and dry. Follow your healthcare provider's instructions for care, to reduce the risk of infection.
Throughout this slower period, embrace precious moments with your newborn while balancing rest. This is the perfect opportunity to do lots of skin-to-skin cuddles with your baby and focus on establishing feeding.
After transitioning home, focus on gradually resuming daily activities while continuing to prioritise your rest and recovery:
Gradually introduce light activities like short walks, but avoid heavy lifting or intense exercises.
Most women find that by this time they no longer require strong pain medication, but may need to continue taking simple analgesia when needed. Stay in close contact with your healthcare provider and report any persistent pain.
Acknowledge your emotions and seek support from loved ones or support groups. Connecting with others who've experienced C-sections can provide valuable insights.
Entering the four-to-six-week period, you'll likely experience increased energy levels and improved mobility:
Begin incorporating light exercises approved by your healthcare provider. Focus on core-strengthening exercises and walking.
Continue caring for your incision, and consider using scar creams as recommended by your healthcare provider.
Attend postpartum check-ups to monitor your overall recovery. Discuss any concerns or questions with your healthcare team.
It’s recommended that you organise a six-week postpartum check-up with your doctor or midwife. At this appointment your care provider will check your scar and examine your overall health. It is usually at this time that a doctor clears you to resume driving, if you haven’t already.
With approval from your healthcare provider, gradually reintroduce regular exercises and activities. Consider seeing a Women’s Health physiotherapist to assess your pelvic floor and abdominal muscles prior to resuming regular exercise.
If you're considering contraception, consult with your healthcare provider to determine the most suitable options.
A perineal tear is the laceration of the skin and tissues that separate the vagina from the anus. There are 4 types —
You are not alone!
Up to 9 in every 10 first time mothers who have a vaginal birth will experience some sort of tear, graze or episiotomy. It is slightly less common for mothers who have had a vaginal birth before. For most women, these tears are minor and heal quickly.
Treatment & Management
Prevention
There are a few things that can help prevent or reduce your chance of tearing.
Before Labour —
Use perineal massage. Doing perineal massage at home at the end of your third trimester also may help the tissue stretch more easily during labor. During the pushing stage of labor, a member of your healthcare team can also help with this.
During Labour —
Keep the perineum warm. Use a warm, damp cloth or heat pack on the area during the pushing stage of labor may help the tissue stretch more easily.
Control your pushing. Aim for controlled, consistent pushing and listen to your body when it tells you to push. Pushing gently and slowly can give the tissue time to stretch.
If you're concerned about vaginal tears during childbirth, talk to your healthcare professional. Ask what the care team does to prevent vaginal tears. Talk about what you can do to help prepare for delivery and lower your risk of tears.
What To Expect
It is typical for lochia to continue for 4 to 6 weeks, sometimes even longer. It will be bright red, heavy, clumpy in the first week after birth and then subside to lighter, watery consistency as the weeks pass. Expect to use a lot of maternity pads (regular pads just aren't up to the task for this) and be sure not to use any tampons or period cups to avoid risk of infection.
Treatment & Management
When To Worry
It’s rare but postpartum haemorrhaging does happen. Signs include bleeding through one to two pads per hour, pale skin, shakiness and chills. If you or your partner notices these symptoms, at the hospital or in the first 45 days after delivery, you should seek medical attention immediately.
The Good News?
You are not alone! Two-thirds of pregnant women develop some degree of diastasis recti, especially in the third trimester. It’s common but also easily treatable.
So, How Do I Know If I Have It?
If you can feel a gap of two finger widths or more, schedule an appointment with your primary care physician for a definitive diagnosis.
What Can I Do If I've Been Diagnosed?
In many cases, diastasis recti resolves itself after your baby is born. However, it is not uncommon to need physical therapy to help you heal.
Breathe
Breathe and slow down the fear, anxiety and nervousness. Avoiding a bowel movement can make the situation worse and could lead to more pain and discomfort. Don’t force the movement
Don't Wipe!
Use a perineal wash bottle and gently dab. Wiping is not recommended after giving birth vaginally. Even if no major tears were sustained, the area is likely to be quite inflamed and tender, and rubbing it — even gently — with dry toilet paper is not ideal.
R.I.C.E.
Rest, Ice, Compress and Elevate. Using ice, gentle compression and remembering to put your feet up and rest will help the tissues heal which will help make bowel movements less painful. RICE for the pelvic floor can be done by resting as much as possible, applying ice to the perineum with the gentle compression of an undergarment or sitting on the ice and elevating your feet when possible.
Hydrate
Rest, Ice, Compress and Elevate. Using ice, gentle compression and remembering to put your feet up and rest will help the tissues heal which will help make bowel movements less painful. RICE for the pelvic floor can be done by resting as much as possible, applying ice to the perineum with the gentle compression of an undergarment or sitting on the ice and elevating your feet when possible.
Soothe
Sitting in sitz bath salts can help to soothe the area relieving pain and inflammation, especially if you have haemorrhoids.
Posture
How you sit on the toilet can make all the difference. Here are some tips from @theroyalwomens
A box of Postpartum Pads
For when my waters broke. Super absorbent, these were perfect to allow me to keep moving whilst losing my waters.
TENS machine from @blissbirth
For pain relief during early labour. More of a distraction, it took the edge off pain. These are most effective if you start early to get accustomed to the sensation and learn to work your way up. They also work wonders on afterpains post birth!
Nitrous Oxide (Laughing Gas)
For pain relief during surges. I had many long and intense surges before feeling the urge to push baby out and this is when the gas was most helpful. When it came time to push baby out, I needed all of my strength and focus so I didn't use anything during this time
Postpartum Pads & Perineal Foam
Whilst the hospital usually offers maternity pads, I used Bare Mum pads during and after birth as they were a much better size, more absorbent, softer and don’t catch onto stitches. I used the peri foam as a gentle intimate wash in the shower to help soothe and clean tender skin. I also popped some straight onto pads 2-3 times a day for the following week to help the area heal quicker.
Postpartum Briefs & Ice Pacl
Straight after birth for abdominal and pelvic floor support and ice to bring down the swelling and help numb the pain every few hours for the first 3-4 days. I wore the briefs during pregnancy and immediately after birth. 3-4 days after birth I switched back to my pre-pregnancy brief size for extra support.
A Perineal Wash Bottle
To avoid any stinging on stitches and cleanse intimate areas gently. A must-have for every bathroom trip!
Nipple Balm
I used this as a preventative measure weeks before birth to keep the skin hydrated and build a protective barrier.
Colostrum Collectors from @Haakka
I started hand expressing from 37 weeks using these. Our baby girl was born very little and so we topped up the first few feeds with colostrum. I also had nipple damage as she was little and struggling to latch so these were so helpful to use in between feeds to give my skin time to recover.
Postpartum Bralette
I wore this straight after birth for support with nipple shells in anticipation for breastfeeding. I then expressed a little bit of breastmilk on my breasts and let them air dry in between feeds and only wore the nipple shells as protection from friction when needed.
Warm & Cool Inserts
I started wearing these in my bralette 2-3 days after birth, once I noticed my milk started coming in to bring down inflammation when engorged.
Breast pads
I started wearing these 2-3 days post birth when my milk started coming in as I started leaking milk… which never really stopped!
My name is Joelleen Winduss Paye, I’m an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC), Midwife, Naturopath and Educator, and I founded JWP to offer a contemporary holistic breastfeeding support service for parents in Melbourne, however, I also offer my services virtually too.
As an experienced midwife and lactation consultant, I support and hold space for breastfeeding challenges and help parents to understand what their newborn needs while keeping in mind the family’s feeding goals and realities. I also use a holistic naturopathic approach to nutrition, providing support around diet, herbs and supplements to support postpartum and breastfeeding well-being.
I am also passionate about quality breastfeeding education, and breastfeeding preparation/planning during pregnancy. I host bi-monthly breastfeeding online workshops which covers what can be expected, how to troubleshoot common challenges, normal newborn behaviour, postpartum nutrition, helpful products and much more!
I often meet mothers/parents during a crisis in their breastfeeding journey, lacking the correct information and experiencing the stress that breastfeeding challenges can bring. There is a lot of advice available to parents; however, you need to consider who is giving the advice and if it is evidence-based. Your breastfeeding journey starts from the moment you decide you want to breastfeed your baby, and taking your time during your pregnancy to not only plan for your birth and postpartum but also for breastfeeding is essential. Some of the things I suggest are:
Instincts can be strong yet blurred, so give yourself grace as you have only been a mother for a few moments. Intuition needs repetition to grow, and there is a lot of pressure on parents to act from intuition very early on. Skin-to-skin is all you need at this moment. It may not feel like it but your bodies together are achieving so much as the hormonal dance unfolds. Your baby will know your voice and may surprise you with how alert they are. Try to protect this early time as much as possible with dim lighting, warmth, privacy and delaying any non-urgent tasks until the first breastfeed is completed. For mothers and babies who don't get to enjoy these precious moments immediately post-birth for whatever reason, I suggest playing catch up and making up for the lost time with unlimited skin-to-skin when you and your baby are reunited.
It is great to have resources like the book The First Forty Days which has led to more awareness of just how vital nourishment is during postpartum and breastfeeding. Breastfeeding and parenting are hugely demanding on your healing body's energy levels and reserves; therefore, eating nutrient-dense foods and choosing foods for hormonal balance will support more well-being for you and your baby. Breastfeeding mothers are advised to consume an additional 300-500 calories per 24 hours to support breastmilk production, which equates to around three large snacks. However, it's not just about how much you eat; it's about what and when too.
I always recommend a protein-rich breakfast as soon as possible after waking and that all main meals have protein, fibre, healthy fats, plus slow carbohydrates (ideally consumed in that order). Focusing on your protein intake at regular intervals will help to support a stable blood sugar which means more consistent energy throughout the day and overall greater hormonal balance. Protein-rich foods such as eggs, salmon, beef, chicken and vegan protein powders are all great options to get your 25 grams of protein per meal or 1.4 grams per kilo per day.
Hydration is also essential, as breastmilk is over 80% water, so a lot of your water intake is being diverted to your milk supply. Producing breastmilk also required water. Aim for 3+ litres per day and more during and after exercise and if you live in a warm climate. I recommend having a water bottle at each breastfeeding station in your home. Sipping on a bone broth or a nourishing herbal tea (I love nettle and chamomile) during breastfeeding will also help to keep you nourished and hydrated. If you struggle to drink water regularly, flavour your water with an electrolyte powder, I love Hydramama and LMNT. It’s also helpful to know that watery fruits, vegetables and soups also count towards your daily water intake.
I often support mothers with low breast milk supply that can typically drop towards the afternoon and early evening. I always look back to how they are starting their day, are they skipping breakfast and finally having a bite at lunch? Or relying on caffeine or other stimulants like sugar and refined carbohydrates to keep them going throughout the day? We chat about their nutrition priorities and find ways to create more consistency, meeting their nutritional and caloric needs. This always starts with a protein-rich breakfast. Feelings of increased energy and well-being are noted fairly quickly, and these changes are often reflected in the milk supply increasing too.
Having a meal train set up before your baby arrives, switching typical baby shower gifts for meal services vouchers and investing in some quality multivitamins and protein powders will go a long way to nourishing you and your baby during this special time.
Firstly, a common cause of mastitis is a sub-optimal latch and nipple damage, get this assessed and supported with a local IBCLC is essential. Keep your milk supply well-matched with your baby’s needs. I caution against the use of milk catchers, particularly when your baby is feeding at the breast. These can easily stimulate an oversupply, which puts you at risk of inadequate milk draining and therefore mastitis.
Rest, hydration, and using ice and anti-inflammatories as required for relief are the latest advice for treating mastitis. Avoid heat, deep massage and trying to ‘drain’ the milk with expressing or extra feeding. Your milk supply may reduce during the mastitis period, this is a natural reflection of your body mobilising its resources to heal the mastitis and will rebound with proper care and time. Probiotics and Therapeutic Ultrasound (TUS) can be supportive too. If symptoms are not resolving, or worsening after 12-24 hours, seek a GP with breastfeeding expertise for a medical assessment and possible antibiotics.
Take small moments for self-care, starting with fresh air and sunlight as early as possible. It may feel hard to get outside, but nature is so healing and mood-boosting. Proper nutrition and hydration also go a long way. I love practices like yoga nidra or diaphragmatic breathing, and these can be done throughout the day. Invest in some nice products to use during the shower, something that refreshes your senses and drops you into your feminine energy. Investing in postpartum planning or postpartum sessions with a doula and bodywork if you have the ability to do so are also incredibly supportive.
]]>
Hi, I’m Fiona, a Women’s & Pelvic Health Physiotherapist, a new mum, and Owner of Pelvic Wellness, based in Melbourne.
Over two months ago, I became a mother with the birth of my gorgeous daughter, Zara. It has been such a special and beautiful journey so far, however, not without its challenges.
My breastfeeding journey began in the hospital where I was introduced to nipple shields due to difficult and painful latching. At this point, I was complementing my breastfeeding with formula top-ups as there was concern regarding Zara’s insufficient weight gain. By two weeks postpartum, with the support of my Maternal & Child Health Nurse, I was able to wean off the shields and transition to exclusively breastfeeding. More recently, I reached out to a Lactation Consultant who dramatically improved my feeding experience following issues of lactose overload and a fast let-down. While I knew breastfeeding wouldn’t be easy, I never realised how difficult it could be! I would highly recommend reaching out to various healthcare professionals for support with feeding as it really is unchartered territory for you and your baby!
Professionally, I work as a maternity ward physiotherapist supporting new mums during their acute recovery phase. I also see women privately through my business, Pelvic Wellness, treating pelvic floor issues (such as incontinence, constipation and sexual pain), pregnancy aches and pains and postpartum recovery. My business came to fruition after realising there was a lack of women’s health clinical services in my local community. I feel extremely fortunate to be able to work with women during such momentous life stages.
From a physiotherapy point of view, the most common breastfeeding challenge my patients experience is Mastitis. It refers to the inflammation of the breast tissue and often begins with a block milk duct. When the duct becomes engorged, the milk may push out into the surrounding tissues and cause an inflammatory reaction, and potentially become infective.
The breast is usually red, hot and painful, sometimes with firm lumps. It is often associated with flu-like symptoms such as aching, whole-body chills and a fever. Mastitis is quite common affecting 3-20% of breastfeeding mothers.
Here are my top tips to manage Mastitis:
References:
Amir L.H. (2014). ABM clinical protocol #4: Mastitis. Breastfeed Medicine. 9(5):239-43. doi:10.1089/bfm.2014.9984
Mitchell, K.B. et al. (2022). Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine Clinical Protocol #36: The Mastitis Spectrum. Breastfeeding Medicine. 17(5): 360- 376.
I'm Frida, and I'm a mother of two incredible boys who are now 4 and 6 years old. When I embarked on the journey of developing The Tenth, my youngest had just turned two.
Before The Tenth, my professional background revolved around building an international corporate career in the health and beauty industry. I had the opportunity to work with globally leading brands in various locations such as Helsinki, Melbourne and Los Angeles. Throughout my career, I always had a deep passion for health and wellness. I pursued certification as an integrative nutritionist in New York because I wanted to learn more.
While I genuinely enjoyed my corporate career and cherished the experiences and connections it brought, I knew deep down that I wanted to be part of something greater. I wanted to contribute to a cause beyond myself, leaving a positive impact on the world, this urge just grew bigger as I had children. I found myself thinking questions about how I could make a difference. However, I hadn't quite figured out what that would be until I faced my own health crisis.
In essence, The Tenth Co is so much more than a business to me. It’s a real passion. The Tenth Co emerged from my personal journey: I was battling exhaustion, burnout, and overwhelm as I navigated motherhood, my career, and everyday life. A story I’ve seen resonate with so many women also trying to ‘do it all’.
Dr Oscar Serrallach, is well-known in the field of postnatal health that we are oh so lucky to have as our advisor at The Tenth. He is also the founder of The MotherCare Project; the place for all things relating to the work of Dr Oscar Serrallach.
He is my own personal doctor, that I had through my pregnancies, and most recently as a working mother facing depletion got to experience his treatment protocol for depletion. During my recovery with Dr Oscar Serrallach, my solo health journey soon became a bigger one with an unwavering mission: help other women avoid what I went through, a passion Oscar shares and has devoted his clinical practice to as well.
Oscar had a personal journey into the importance of postpartum; through his personal family experience and the lens of functional medicine, he came to realise the huge impact that nutrition, lifestyle and environment have on the postnatal period. Dr Serrallach has spent the last eight years devoted to the identification and treatment of Postnatal Depletion, he has written the book Postnatal depletion cure, which is endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow, Salma Hayek, Dr Alejandro Junger and so many more.
Matrescence-term is the "time of mother-becoming", as defined by anthropologist, Dana Rafael back in the 1970's in her essay "Matrescence, Becoming a Mother, A New/Old Rite de passage”. Dr Oscar Serrallach loves the term “Matrescence” as a far more “all-embracing” way of describing the postpartum phase, with a much less defined period of time attached to it.
Dr Oscar Serrallach says there are both more hormones and more brain changes involved in matrescence than adolescence. While there is a plethora of textbooks on adolescence, there is hardly any information on matrescence. Needless to say “Like adolescence, matrescence needs support" says Oscar.
Postnatal depletion is a term that Dr Oscar Serrallach put together, in his search for answers when he had countless mothers coming through his clinic that asked "how do I get my life and myself back after becoming a mother?”. They all had symptoms of:
Most of the issues that occur to mothers postnatally are neuro-inflammatory,” says Dr. Serrallach, “which is why it can't be corrected with just sleep, because it’s much more than that.”
If a new mom isn’t allowed to fully recover from the demanding requirements of pregnancy and child birth, the aftereffects can last for years. Dr Oscar Serrallach has treated women who were still depleted ten years after their kids were born.
There are multiple factors contributing including, lack of postpartum planning, lack of support, personal expectations of motherhood falling short and ignoring your biology.
e.g. We live in a society of continual ongoing stress and majority of people these days don’t even know how to relax or switch off, because of the endless demands of today’s world. This has profound effects on are overall health including hormones, immune function, our brain, and gut health. Which then is connected to that women tend to be in a depleted state going into motherhood with careers, demanding social schedules, and the chronic sleep deprivation being the norm in our society.
And we can’t ignore the profound effect lack of sleep of having a newborn: Some research suggests that in the first year the average sleep debt is 700 hours. Reduced family and societal support is very common, as well.
In addition processed, nutrient-poor foods make up a large percentage of the typical diet these days unfortunately. Some even say “two mouthfuls of food for one mouthful of nutrition.”
What we want to change is the notion that the mother has to be “everything,” and as result many mothers suffer in silence and not receiving needed information or support. Multi-generational support for mothers have been part of indigenous cultures traditionally, though they are sadly largely absent in our world today.
To also plan for the postpartum, not just the pregnancy, there are many cultures where they honour the mother and allow her to recover and she is supported, this is unfortunately currently not the case (yet) in western culture.
Here is Dr Oscar Serrallach’s three main principles of Postpartum Planning, to optimise your wellbeing:
1. Deep Rest 1 month
2. Deep Support 100 days
3. Priority on sleep 1 year
What do these principles look like when applied to the postpartum time?
1. Deep rest 1 month - the focus is on your healing from birth, and a gentle time - for your hormones to return to balance and simply, to connect with your baby.
2. Deep support 100 days - for a healthy Nervous System it is fantastic if a Mother can feel the ongoing support and safety that is provided by trusted family & friends. This looks like: a roster for meals, housework and child care where there are older siblings. Don’t forget that dads / partners also need support.
3. Priority on sleep 1 year. Many Mothers say, “but the evening after baby goes to bed is when I get time to myself!” But is it more important than getting enough sleep? Maybe get some support during the day for some me time, and get yourself early to bed… this is paramount.
If you are a mum who didn’t get the ideal rest and support in your postpartum time, this might bring up sadness and mixed emotions. We feel that it is never too late for postpartum healing. Why not make a plan for yourself to enact these principles of rest, support and sleep in a different way? Your nervous system will thank you.
Also - sharing this information with other pregnant and new mothers can also be incredibly healing. We believe when one Mother heals we all heal.
Having vitality and more energy is the end result of multiple body systems being in sync, being in ‘flow'. Being fatigued is the result of these body systems being out of sync. Dr Oscar Serrallach finds a combination of addressing micronutrient deficiencies along with macronutrient imbalances being a good start; as well as lifestyle changes.
Step 1 Replenishing micronutrients and vitamins.
The physical demands, the stress and toll of pregnancy, labor, and breastfeeding can deplete essential nutrients, hormonal reserves, and energy stores from You. When we are pregnant the mother is kind of the bank of nutrients for the baby, all the nutrients go to the baby, and what is leftover (if any) gets passed to the mother, or the mother becomes deficient herself. Our Flow State supplement could be an wonderful recovery tool to address some of the key nutrient deficiencies that occur in depleted mothers.
Step 2 Activities that support Your Nervous System
As You are starting to feel better form being more replenished, you’ll start to think more clearly, and have more energy, you will have the headspace and resilience to consider other activities that will have a compounding effect on your wellbeing.
Dr Oscar Serrallach has a great framework that is easy to implement to your everyday.
Essentially do the things makes you feel relaxed and recharged - this will be essential in your recovery, which isn’t always easy when you feel you ‘should’ be doing other things; the sooner we realise the to-do list will never end, in fact it is essential to make ourselves a priority, because when we feel food it has a ripple effect around us.
Step 3 Get support over help
Dr. Oscar Serrallach believes that support is more important than help in the postpartum period. He says that help is often reactionary, coming after the mother has already reached a point of crisis. Support, on the other hand, is preventative, coming before we reached a point of crisis. Dr. Oscar Serrallach compares support to a life vest, and help to a lifeguard. A life vest is there to keep you afloat, even if you're not drowning. Help is there to rescue you after you've already fallen in the water.
Dr. Oscar Serrallach says that the best way to support a postpartum mother is to offer her and for her to ask for practical support, such as cooking meals, cleaning the house, or taking care of the other children. He also says it's important to offer emotional support, by listening to her, validating her feelings, and letting her know that you're there for her.
We believe when mothers are supported, we are more likely to thrive in the postpartum period.
Dr. Oscar Serrallach defines flow state as a state of mind where you are completely absorbed in the present moment and your actions are effortless, you loose track of time, you are ‘in flow’. In this state, you are focused and motivated, and you experience a feeling of satisfaction and joy. This in return can reduce stress and anxiety, and be quite restorative, ultimately increasing overall happiness and well-being.
We have been overwhelmed by the response since our launch this year, we are almost sold out! We are working hard on getting more stock (coming August 10th) then we are working on some really exciting new products, collaborating with beautiful brands like BareMum and so much more (sign up to our newsletter to be first to know www.thetenthco.com)
]]>It’s been such a rush. Those first days and nights I didn’t sleep a wink... I was so overloaded with oxytocin all I could do was stare into the bluest eyes of the little babe in my arms. It’s a love that makes my bones ache. At 41+6 we chose to switch our home birth plans for a caesarean due to oligohydramnios - so there was/ is the physical side of that, of our scar, plus the relentlessness of feeding a newborn and the occasional 3am tears I think most new mothers shed. Even so, this has been the best month of my life and I also credit my partner Tyler for taking care of us. I’m so happy.
I think so although watching it back still moves me to tears. I wish I could relive that day, I hope we have more kids. We debriefed with our doula and will have a ceremony of sorts with her soon... I’m also in the process of writing my birth story for our own family to look back on, but also to share because I think people forget that belly birth is and should be sacred. It can be such a wonderful way to meet your baby - we had Fleetwood Mac playing softly and Jules was placed straight on my chest. I’ll never ever forget Tyler’s hand on my face, and the way that first cry pierced my heart.
I don’t think anything can fully prepare you for being on the other side of the glass, but certainly a lot of the newborn care and doing overnights (which was my preferred shift as a postpartum doula) meant that baby care wasn’t such a shock to the system. I think my experience allowed me for the most part to feel confident trusting mine and Tyler’s instincts as new parents, and to ask for help when we needed a break or specialised advice.
I wish I could say I didn’t expect the feeding journey to be hard, but I have enough mums in my community to know better! It doesn’t matter how much you “prepare” in advance - breastfeeding is a learned skill for both the parent and baby and although some people do have a really smooth transition, it’s normal (albeit frustrating and tiring) for things to take time, to find breastfeeding painful, to need help, and to add in formula exclusively or in combination. I’ve shared a lot of our feeding journey openly on my Instagram - I’m so proud of how far we’ve come already but that has been the steepest learning curve for sure.
On a different note, one thing I didn’t fully anticipate was how the dynamic between my partner and I would shift. We have both poured so much love and effort into our relationship over the years so we were already starting out on sure footing, but having a baby has unlocked a whole new kind of intimacy. We share a purpose and a human. We are so in sync taking care of Jules which makes parenting together a real delight. I’m not pretending we never get snippy when we’re tired; washing pump parts and spilling postpartum blood isn’t the conventional picture of romance; but it’s often in those “unattractive”, more mundane moments at 3am that I actually feel the deepest sense of love. Nothing else matters, everything in the peripheral fades out and it’s just us three.
Jules. There’s nothing we won’t do for our baby and he makes us light up and giggle every single day. I would say though that part of taking care of him is taking care of us as parents - we are 5 weeks now and I try to keep Jules solo for a 10 hour stretch overnight so Tyler can recharge in the spare room. He works so hard for us and also takes Jules in the evenings, and I have lots of creative projects still simmering that keep my heart full too. One small thing that I’ve loved has been prioritising a shower or bath (alone) every day since the birth! I’m almost finished my precious bottles of BARE MUM scar oil, and the sitz bath salts which I just add to my normal evening bath when I’m feeling fancy.
It’s funny I often had it explained to me that the mother herself is “reborn”, and while I do resonate with the underlying element of transformation that describes, my personal experience has been less of a rebirth and more of an undoing. I feel stripped back to the more lovely parts of myself that got pushed aside over the years in the quest for productivity and importance: the instinct to protect, a pull to nature, a slowness and craving for beautifully ordinary moments, a love of tasty food, connection to community and a strength of purpose. My self-esteem is at an all-time high because I feel capable and needed and loved and passionate. Motherhood has gifted me contentment.
I am an endorsed midwife with a Masters in Public Health. I am a wife to my amazing lover and most favourite person, Michael and together we have two delicious boys. I am the co-host of The Great Birth Rebellion, Founder and Creator of Core and Floor Restore, a pregnancy, birth and postpartum hub and Co-Creator of Motheration, a modern village for motherhood with myself and Lael Stone.
Core and Floor was born and developed through my own experience with incontinence from the age of 19 and prolapse after the birth of my second babe. It was originally created just for me. After a horrific pregnancy with my first babe that left me covered in urine and vomit, followed by an epic birth that left me feeling like my body could do anything, I decided I wanted to heal from my 12 year journey with incontinence. What followed has been pretty phenomenal.
Core and Floor Restore is now a pregnancy, birth and postpartum hub. Filled with epic free resources for people to enter these stages with evidence informed information so that they can do what is right for themselves and their families. We have online core and pelvic floor programs for all life stages, genders and abilities, live online classes, one on one consultations online and face to face ranging from birth preparation chats and debriefs to postpartum and motherhood support to internal pelvic release sessions. We also offer a lot of motherhood support via our Modern Mum Village 8 week program to dive into all our stories that affect our motherhood journey from mum guilt to mum rage to how connect in with our bodies and our relationship with our mind.
We also have a one stop online store for all your pregnancy, birth, postpartum and baby needs.
We know that 1:3 women experience birth trauma and 12% obstetric violence. Birth is meant to be the most empowering event of your entire life, it’s biologically designed to be but most people in our modern culture are robbed of that. It’s meant to make us feel like “Wow, I just did that, now I can do this (parenting)”, it’s meant to give us our Mother Power. Birth ignites the start of our life as a mother and we want to enter that period feeling powerful and confident because keeping a new human alive is hard enough let alone if we begin that journey with physical and emotional trauma. We often see birth as the end when it's really the beginning.
Birth is also incredibly transformative. It has to be, you have to transform from woman to mother and that doesn’t come easily. So you have this event that is emotionally, physically and mentally the most challenging event you’ll ever go through and what that needs is some processing time. Regardless of whether someone feels it was traumatic or not, everyone’s birth story deserves to be told and heard in order for them to truly understand and make sense of it. Yet, what happens? Well most people just get thrown into the trenches that are the first couple of years or so. And then we wonder why our postnatal depression and anxiety rates are so high. Why we have so much disconnection with our partners and have high divorce rates. And why so many mothers don’t love motherhood.
Birth exposes our deep wounds and it does this for a reason, to help us shift and grow but this kind of growth needs time to unpack, process and heal from and we don’t offer that to people in postpartum, in fact we offer bugger all.
You see if I broke my leg, I would get follow up care that was publicly funded (through medicare) until I was healed. It would include drs apts, physio, OT and perhaps some psychology.
When we are pregnant we have a lot of appointments, whilst they are for the person who is pregnant, they tend to focus on the wellbeing of that person in terms of the wellbeing of the baby. Once that baby is out, all focus on the person who was pregnant vanishes.
So here we are with a person who potentially has physical and/or emotional wounds or trauma (whatever people identify with) and they have no publicly funded follow up care. The focus is simply on weight gains and immunisations.
And then we’ve taken away the village and so this person is left with a body that requires time to heal, (research is now showing it takes up to 7 years postpartum to heal our bodies from birth) without the support for it to happen. So the body needs to heal but how does one find the time to and how can someone do that whilst also carrying around a cute but heavy weight plus all the equipment our society deems necessary for such a weight, around with them.
Never would we expect someone healing from another surgery or injury to do all the things new mothers are expected to do. We have lost our respect and honouring of postpartum healing and that’s a new mothers biggest threat.
And yes whilst pregnancy and birth are physiological events, they take their toll on the body. As does all the interventions that now comes with birthing in our modern culture. We don’t just magically heal from that, we don’t just fall back into place. Healing requires rest and conscious practices and support. It takes months and often years to fully heal our bodies from pregnancy, birth and postpartum yet most women don’t get the opportunity to.
Birth so often gets the blame for our issues like prolapse and incontinence, truth is it's often pregnancy and postpartum where the injury/ies occur. Most people enter their first pregnancy with core and pelvic floor dysfunction, they just don’t know it and this is because of how we have adapted our body to move so that it caters to our modern environment.
This is why I created my core and floor programs to be holistic. We cover the way we move, the way we poo, the way we breathe because it all impacts our core and pelvic floor. One in three women leak urine, one in ten faeces and depending on what stats you look at most women will experience some type of prolapse in their life, either symptomatic or asymptomatic. Then there is diastasis recti.
Postpartum needs to be entered with the knowledge that weeing, pooing, farting and intimacy may feel different. That you may physically have symptoms and that these symptoms are not normal. That pain is never normal. That if your body is not functioning how it used to is not normal. And you can heal!
So that you can move through these life stages, (pregnancy, birth and postpartum) in optimal health. So that you know how to connect to and respond to your body and honour it with what it needs. So that you can prevent injury from occurring but also so that you feel prepared and safe if you do get diagnosed with something. So often I hear from people that have absolutely freaked out over their diagnosis of prolapse or diastasis recti because they didn’t even know it existed or thought it was an “old lady issue”. What often stems from that is what I call the head fuckery, the downward spiral of what we make these conditions mean for us and well no one needs that added stress and symptoms when they are trying to heal. People would be able to heal a lot faster if they were able to go “ok this has happened to me and I now know what I need to do about it” and I’d also love if people were able to also think “and my body hasn’t failed, it’s done an epic job and it just needs some support and love to heal” because so often we make these conditions mean we have failed.
Connection, compassion, core and floor ;-)
I always say in order to heal we need connection, in order to connect we need compassion. Our body is nothing without the mind and so healing requires a holistic approach.
Exercise by far is my number one tool to heal and it's been proven time and time again by the research as well. Our bodies love and need movement and it far outweighs anything you can buy to “fix you”.
Having individualised care that is tailored to your emotional and physical needs is paramount and this is where it sucks because this type of care is often expensive, not easily accessible and hard to get to if you live in rural and remote areas. Online health is helping immensely with this but this is what I’d love to dedicate my career to changing.
Doing things you love in a supportive environment is also key to keep going with it.
Ditching the kegels and seeing the body as a whole is imperative!
Everyone is different and so what one person needs will be very different to another. It’s why I’m so passionate about giving all the modifications in my programs.
I’m also incredibly passionate about driving the focus off external authority and on to internal authority. We are so conditioned to be good girls and do as we are told and so often we can find ourselves not tuning into our bodies at all. We want to be told how to do things all the time simply because we are used to this but the fact is the body holds so much wisdom and its dying to be heard.
Exercise is not a time to tune out, it’s a time to tune in, listen to and respect your body and give it what it needs.We need to work in rather than work out!
As women we need to be listening and tailoring each workout to what our body is saying. The fitness industry doesn’t spread this message though, it spreads the push yourself to the limit message and healing, well healing doesn’t want us to push ourselves to the limit, it wants us to listen and respect.
I am back to bleeding now and so I cater my exercise to my cycle and also what's going on in my life. And so my workout deeply depends on how my body is feeling, how much sleep I’ve had, what thoughts and feelings I’m holding onto to and what the relationships in my life and feeling like.
Doing you is the key ;-)
When you think you need to. If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. And it’s not just in your head. If you don’t get the answer you think matches what’s going on for you, find a different health care provider.
It’s also important to find someone whose philosophy aligns with you. If you see a Dr, they are going to recommend what they are specialised in, medications and surgery. If you see someone who practices more holistic (and some doctors do) they will prescribe things such as exercise and emotional support, body work like osteopathy to improve body alignment and healthy relationships with your environment (aka setting healthy boundaries and self care principles).
Well….. I have a new program launching called “holding the mother” created with the phenomenal TEDx speaker, Lael Stone, THIS MONTH! It’s a self-paced, online course to nurture and support you people through a connected, powerful postpartum period. It gives compassionate guidance in understanding your physical, mental & emotional transition to motherhood. It’s basically Mary Poppins in your phone screen with everything Lael and I ever wanted to know in those early days, weeks and months postpartum that we didn’t get! It’s an epic research to get in pregnancy or gift to a friend so that they can head into postpartum with the knowledge and power to care for themselves in a way our society has forgotten.
]]>The idea of a birth plan is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people argue that birth is wildly unpredictable, so why try to plan it? In my opinion, it’s less about trying to ‘plan’ and more about being prepared for the ‘unplanned’. Knowing your options and being able to advocate for yourself in every scenario is crucial to feeling secure, supported and confident in your decision making.
A birth plan is a document that outlines your preferences and wishes for the labour, birth, and postpartum period. It is a way for you to communicate your desires to your healthcare provider and the hospital staff. A birth plan typically includes information on pain management options, birth positions, who you’d like present during the birth, your view on the use of medical interventions like induction or epidural, and other aspects of the birthing process. The purpose of a birth plan is to help ensure that your wishes and needs are taken into account throughout labour and birth, and to help facilitate a positive birthing experience.
Remember that a birth plan is not about setting things in stone. Things may change during labour and birth and it’s helpful to be open to flexibility and willing to adjust your plan as necessary. The most important thing is to clearly communicate your preferences and needs with your partner, care provider and hospital staff, to help ensure a positive birthing experience.
Erin Phibbs is a Midwife, Childbirth Educator, Mother of four and Founder of The Birth Trust.
Bare Mum does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The resources on our website are provided for informational purposes only. You should always consult with a healthcare professional regarding any medical diagnoses or treatment options.
]]>Maybe you saw our recent campaign for Mothers' Day, but maybe you didn't. And that could be because it's currently being censored by Meta. We are calling out Meta for its advertising standards which we believe isn't welcoming of women's postpartum bodies in the digital space.
"Meta needs to get with the times. Women, and in particular mothers, all around the world are craving a more authentic representation of the female body in the media."
After another rejected appeal to Meta, we finally spoke out and @9honey shared this article last night. It's a small ripple but many ripples create a wave and together we can make a change. You can read the full article here
]]>
It's an unfortunate cultural truth that whilst pregnant bodies are celebrated, postpartum bodies are often hidden. As Mother’s Day nears, you’ll likely be inundated with perfectly manicured representations of motherhood. The reality is that whilst being beautiful, motherhood can be messy, intense and challenging.
Collaborating with the incredible floral styling of Red Bud, fashion photographer Yan Martea and under the creative direction of Soul Studio, we decided to challenge this narrative by celebrating the beauty of postpartum bodies, honouring the unique stories they tell.
We cast an all female set to create magic with seven incredible mums, all with their own journey to share. These women bravely bared it all to tell us their stories through their glorious postpartum bodies. There were laughs, nerves, and happy tears all around.
From the softness of the womb, the stretch marks, the scars, to the lumps and bumps; there are no flaws. Only a map of your unique story, the story of the life you created and continue to nurture every day. This is ‘Mums in Full Bloom’.
“Despite a challenging birth and postpartum, I continue to admire my body.”
Rose become mum to Theo 5 months ago
“I want to celebrate my bigger body. It’s important for my daughter to see a mother who is proud of the softness, the curves, the stretch marks.”
Nicole became a mum to Anastasia 10 months ago
“I had a 38 week pregnancy with hyperemesis gravidarum. I am a warrior.”
Britt became a mum to Hunter 2 weeks ago
“I want to remember this stage of my life, to celebrate it and be proud, for me, my new baby girl and other mums.”
Toni became a mum to Poppy 9 weeks ago
“I want to embody vulnerability as a strength, so my daughter knows that it’s okay to lean into some fears that will grow you.”
Lauren became a mum to Stevie 3 weeks ago
“I suffer from chronic Crohn’s disease and had half of my bowels removed to fall pregnant. I want to start honouring my body and the amazing things it did.”
Abbey became a mum to Arthur 18 months ago
“I am honouring my positive, gentle pregnancy experience and the joy of a growing belly and surprise bub!”
Zoe will become a mum for the first time in a matter of weeks
A huge thank you to the team:
Creative Direction @heysoulstudio
Photography @martea_photo
Floral Styling @_redbud
And to the mums, who without, this would not have been possible, thank you:
@rkumz @britt_kaym @milkandblossom @toniwhite @a.slab.of..abb @dolly.mcculloch @nicolewiertlewski
FOR THE CAR
FOR LABOUR & BIRTH
FOR YOUR SUPPORT PERSON
FOR POSTPARTUM
FOR BABY
Please note that newborn babies do not need grooming items like soaps / moisturisers / lotions etc.
You’ve got this!
]]>Matrescence - a term coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael - describes the transition from woman to mother. It is a profound experience; one which can be both joyful and challenging. Each woman experiences their own unique journey into motherhood, yet it is rarely talked about. Pregnancy and postpartum resources and support tend to focus on the practicalities of pregnancy, childbirth and caring for a newborn, and often neglect the mother’s evolution.
As a psychologist and mother, I am passionate about normalising this transition and increasing women’s (and men’s!) awareness of this journey, to help women navigate this challenging time feeling confident, empowered, and well supported.
The transition from woman to mother involves a range of a profound physical, psychological and social changes that can affect a woman's self-image, health, relationships, and priorities. These may include:
Below are some evidence-based strategies for successfully managing the transition from woman to mother:
It is important to recognize and acknowledge the profound transition from woman to mother. Whilst it can be challenging at times, the process of matrescence is also an incredibly rewarding and transformative experience. It can be a beautiful opportunity for growth and personal development and to re-evaluate your values and priorities, to create a meaningful, connected way of being for you and your new family.
Dr Tess Browne is a mum of two and a Chartered Clinical Psychologist who specialises in trauma and maternal mental health. She provides online therapy and coaching services to women wanting to shift from feeling burnt out to balanced, and is particularly passionate about supporting new mums, and mums-to-be, as they navigate the psychological challenges of early parenthood.
]]>We spoke with Bianca King, entrepreneur and mother, about her birth experience and preparing for the unexpected.
I am first and foremost a wife and dog mama. I was an actress for 15 years and model for about 20 years in the Philippines before moving to Sydney in 2020. Currently, I create digital content for brands in Asia, the US and Australia while modelling. I most recently ran an e-commerce site I co-owned but gave up in March 2022 to focus on conceiving. Quitting a stressful work environment worked for me and I conceived within 3 months! After trying for quite some time with no success and on the verge of doing IVF. My pregnancy so far has been free of complications. I did have a tough first trimester with all day nausea locking me to my bed. Now in my third trimester, the weight and belly size are slowing me down!
I felt somewhat supported by the medical professionals I engaged with from fertility to my second trimester. But the gaps in the system are evident. I am very inquisitive so doing my own research came naturally when I felt there was something missing.
For one, I was not screened for my nutrition, mental health and overall well-being when investigating my fertility. I went through the typical tests to see where my eggs and fertility were at but there wasn’t much counselling on what I could change in my lifestyle. I wrote about it and some of the steps I took to increase my chances of conceiving on my blog.
When I went to a GP right after my positive pregnancy test, I was told there were no good obstetricians in the Southern Highlands, where I’m currently based, and I’m better off driving 90 minutes to a private hospital in Sydney. For every single antenatal visit and birth! Knowing what I do now, this is terrible advice for the weeks leading up to birth and especially during labour. By week 18, I was fed up with the travel and sought other options. I was not informed what my options are for care – that I could see excellent midwives at a public hospital, could have a non-medical or physiological birth at a birth centre, or I could hire an extremely skilled private midwife for a homebirth. I learned about all of this through my own research, also prompted by an average chemistry with the OB I had been seeing. I must note that these care providers I was seeing are excellent in their fields. But I personally was not feeling with their style and was seeking something else.
I felt the meetings with the OB were too quick, not enough education and not enough discussion about my experience. I was seeking more time and closer attention to my individual needs. I was confused by the mention of induction (without an explanation) so early in my second trimester. That’s what prompted my deep dive into spontaneous labour and physiological birth.
I started listening to podcasts, watching birth documentaries and asking friends and women on social media to share their birth stories. The common vibe I got was that (just about) everyone who had a homebirth had an amazing, empowering experience and a handful of women had traumatic medicalised births with some of them feeling coerced to stray so far from their birth preferences.
On my 18th-20th week, I sought a different type of care – more psychological, emotional and spiritual – that was more suited to the type of person I am, and this was with a private midwife. The physical care for an uncomplicated pregnancy is just as good, if not better, as it’s more woman-centred.
It was a mad dash to find a private midwife who would take me mid-pregnancy as everyone was booked! But I didn’t give up and found someone. Another challenge was getting my husband on the same page. It is a frightening thought to think of your wife birthing at home, drug-free, when the media and society has moulded us to think that birth can only happen safely in a hospital with an OB directing. I am fortunate how open he is to watching documentaries and listening to podcasts with me. We also did a face-to-face hypnobirthing course. He eventually understood how safe an environment our home is with a private midwife for a natural, oxytocin-filled birth, how that benefits my and our baby’s well-being, and how he can support me with the tools he learned from hypnobirthing. He now lights up when he talks about home birth to other people like it’s the greatest birth invention.
Pregnancy and birth education should begin on week 1 of finding out you are pregnant. As this helps navigate what sort of care is right for your individual needs. With education comes confidence to immerse in your unique pregnancy journey, flex your autonomy and trust that your body is built to birth.
Podcasts like Birthful, The Midwives' Cauldron and The Great Birth Rebellion. Definitely watch The Face of Birth and all the expert videos on the website, Why Not Home, The Business of Being Born, Birth Time, The Milky Way and Microbirth. For books, read Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering and Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth. I also watch the Youtube videos of Doula Bridget Teyler. I recommend starting the podcasts and movies the moment you find out you’re pregnant. I always had a podcast going while cooking, going on walks and tidying the house.
Excited and confident! I feel like I’m throwing a house party. I keep thinking of the food I’m going to spread out in the kitchen and the flowers I’m going to decorate around my birth pool. I welcome all the feels and pains as a rite of passage. And I will do everything I can to give my baby the best outcomes – even if it means going to the hospital and getting a C-section if that’s what we all deem is necessary.
For everything your care provider says that you don’t fully understand or agree with – ASK WHY. Ask for data and statistics. Don’t hesitate to ask women about their experiences and balance it out with medical and non-medical stories. If you’re not satisfied with your current care, you deserve better and have the right to change course at any time.
]]>I am the mother of three beautiful children, an author, a doula and the founder of Gather, a space and community for women in Melbourne, Australia. I am passionate about supporting families through the life-changing conception, pregnancy, birth and postpartum chapters and holding space for women as they find their footing on this rocky and wonderful road we call motherhood.
When I became pregnant with my first baby in New York City in 2013, I had no idea about my pregnancy and birth options. I chose a hospital birth with an obstetrician but felt like I was still in the dark about so many things as I crept closer to my due date. At around 35 weeks’ pregnant, I hired a doula and in just a few short weeks she provided the education and emotional support we had been searching for. I went on to have an incredibly empowering birth, my daughter born just as the sun was setting over Manhattan on Mother’s Day in 2014.
At the time of her birth, I was working at Victoria’s Secret, leading the editorial team in a relentless, fast-paced role. I returned to work full-time when she was four months old and I found the transition challenging, to say the least. I was still so fresh in my role as ‘mother’ yet trying so hard to hold on to this other life that all of a sudden felt so foreign.
I quickly realised that I couldn’t balance motherhood and this career in a way that felt right to me. I left my job and we left New York at the end of 2015. We travelled around Europe for a few months before returning home to Australia, and I took time during this trip to pause, be present with our daughter and think about my next move. One image kept coming back to me during this time: my doula holding my hand as I birthed my baby. I don’t know what kind of birth I would have had had she not been present, but I do know my husband and I would have felt lost and untethered without her.
Becoming a doula felt like a natural next step for me. I’d become a huge birth nerd during my first months as a new mother and I was so hungry to learn more. I became a certified doula through Carriage House Birth a couple of years later and have been supporting Melbourne families for four years. In 2018 I opened Gather in Melbourne’s inner-west and in 2020 I was asked by Hardie Grant Books to write my first book, The Birth Space.
I am currently working as a birth doula, educator and doula mentor, writing my second book (The Motherhood Space, due for release at the end of the year), running Gather and raising our three children.
Doulas provide the kind of care I wish everyone had access to. We support without judgement. We show up for you when you need us. We hold you through life's most transformative moments. We care deeply. We educate. We ask questions and most importantly, we listen. You can hire a doula for conception support, loss support, pregnancy and birth support and postpartum support.
Birth doulas provide information, education, care and support to birthing families. We listen to your hopes and fears and help you navigate the somewhat complex maternity and hospital system. During your birth - be it at home, hospital, in the bath, with an epidural or a caesarean - we offer massage and touch, encouragement, and emotional, practical and informational support and advocacy. We also equally support the partner if there is one, to ensure they feel connected and empowered through the experience.
Postpartum doulas support the newborn family at home with food, space holding, bodywork for mum, and whatever else is needed to ensure the family is thriving. I think postpartum doulas should be considered an essential service for new families and adequately supported through government funding. Early motherhood is a rollercoaster of raw emotions driven by hormones, sleep deprivation, a healing body and the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a newborn. It's a LOT. We should never be expected to do it alone.
If you have access and the financial means, there is no better investment in your pregnancy, birth and postpartum than hiring a doula. These are life changing events and you need a supportive team around you independent of the maternity system in which you are birthing to remind you of your legal and human rights, provide continuity of care that is so hard to find in Australia, and to know you have someone completely on your side who is experienced in the birth and postpartum space.
You can find student doulas starting at around $500 (I did not charge for my first five births, so you may even find one for free) up to $5000 for the most experienced birth doula. Postpartum doulas range from around $300-$500 per in home session, which usually includes nourishing meals and snacks for the family.
At Gather, we have a collective of 40 birth and postpartum doulas and I work to match our doulas to families to help take the time and stress out of finding the right one. If you’re in Melbourne, send us an enquiry! You can also search Instagram and ask friends and family if they know of anyone. I’d recommend meeting a few doulas before you hire someone to get a feel for the different ways of working and to ensure your energy feels aligned.
]]>
Pregnancy and childbirth are different for everyone. After welcoming your newborn, sex may well be the last thing on your mind. Or you might be keen to resume your regular sex life, particularly if you have not had sex towards the end of your pregnancy. No matter what pace you are moving at, LBDO’s seven postpartum sex tips can help.
After childbirth, your body is in a healing phase. Having sex too soon can be dangerous and increase the risk of postpartum complications such as haemorrhaging or uterine infection. The risk is highest in the first two weeks after birth.
Although it differs from person to person, doctors usually recommend avoiding penetrative sex for four to six weeks after a caesarean or vaginal delivery. This includes vaginal and anal sex, both of which can disrupt stitches, introduce infection, and interrupt healing. You will likely have a postpartum appointment around six weeks after giving birth, where your doctor will examine you and let you know whether you’re healed enough for sex to be safe and comfortable.
Another way of feeling out when you might be ready is to wait until you're no longer bleeding or emitting any discharge. This means your uterus and the uterine lining is likely healed. If you feel ready before your postpartum checkup, make sure to get the ok from your doctor and remember to start slow. Everyone is different, so don’t be concerned if it takes longer than you expected to resume your usual sexual activity. There are many common physical and emotional factors that delay beyond the six to eight week mark.
Your doctor will tell you when you’re physically prepared for sex, but only you know when you’re emotionally ready. Having a baby can significantly impact on your sex drive. Postpartum depression and anxiety are common, and childbirth and welcoming a new baby are significant life events. Along with fatigue, hormonal changes, and emotional stressors, body image issues can strongly influence whether you feel ready or not for sex.
Be open about your respective sex drives. It’s common for partners to have different levels of desire, especially after childbirth. The important thing is that you create and maintain a direct line of communication, and check in regularly. Your emotional and physical wellbeing is paramount, and there are ways other than penetrative sex to be intimate with your partner.
If you feel like it, outercourse can be safe much sooner than penetrative sex after giving birth. Take things slowly, maybe with oral sex or mutual masturbation rather than penetrative sex. Avoid your vaginal area and perineum, and focus instead on your clitoris or other erogenous zones. Start with fingers, and consider using a vibrator (like our Essensual Vibe) on a gentle setting.
When you’re feeling up to trying penetration, take it slow. Spend time indulging in sensual foreplay to really get you in the mood. Don’t feel like you need to jump straight back into the type of sex you were having before childbirth. Build up the depth and speed of penetration gradually, assessing what feels good as you go - and crucially, (as per our next tip) don’t forget the lube!
Lube is so important it gets its own list item. Many people experience postpartum vaginal dryness due to hormonal changes (levels of oestrogen are low after childbirth, and remain low if you are breastfeeding).
Dryness and friction are not conducive to penetrative sex at the best of times, let alone after giving birth. It can lead to pain, micro-tearing and an increased risk of infection, all things you want to avoid.
Look for a water or silicone based lube, preferably formulated without parabens that will be gentle on your skin. Our Essensual Lube, which is a 100% natural water-based lubricant made with Certified Organic and hydrating Aloe Vera, is a great option to reduce the risk of irritation and infection.
You can become pregnant as soon as three weeks after childbirth, so contraception is essential for preventing unintended pregnancy. Discuss your birth control options with your doctor before or after delivery. Most of the usual options, including the IUD, implant, diaphragm and contraceptive pills, are likely to be available to you shortly after childbirth. And of course, condoms are always an effective form of immediate contraception.
Claire and Bronwyn birthed their first child nine months ago, and have lived to tell the tale. Perhaps unsurprisingly, your body, mind and relationships go through all sorts of changes after welcoming a baby to the world. Claire shares with us her experiences of sex, sexuality and sensuality after childbirth.
It took what felt like a long time to be physically healed. I was lucky not to have had any haemorrhaging or infections postpartum, but I just felt very sore and I guess unsexual. I had a vaginal delivery, so we were advised not to have, really, any sort of sex for about a month after the fact. That was pretty easy for me as to be honest, sex was the last thing on my mind. Bronwyn, I think, suffered a bit during this time - albeit very politely and quietly [laughs].
I definitely didn’t leap into bed the moment our doctor gave us the green light to have sex. really wasn’t feeling like sex for months. The whole experience is very overwhelming. The sexual intimacy in our relationship came back incredibly gradually, starting from just cuddling and caressing, and working up over months to touching each other and actually having sex to climax. It was almost like dating again [laughs]. Bron understood - I mean, she witnessed the birth and saw how physically traumatic it was for my body. I think she was unsurprised that I needed to take time to heal.
It took a while for us to get back on the horse. Only when the bleeding and discharge stopped, and we got the all clear from the postpartum appointment... that’s when we started having sex again, and extremely gently at first. I didn’t feel like being penetrated by anything - even a finger - for probably four or five months, so we kept it very ‘exterior’ for the most part for a long time.
Yeah actually, I have two. One is, be ready to talk to your partner. Even more than you already do. Like, about everything. Your body is sore and changes, your hormones are going wild, you get sensitive, and needy...sometimes I’m sure Bron felt like she was caring for two babies. I don’t know how you can survive something like that if you don’t have a direct and honest line of communication.
The second was a surprising discovery for me as I hadn’t really used it - or needed to use it before, but I discovered the magic of lube. If you’re about to have a baby, trust me, buy some lube. Even though we weren’t really having penetrative sex, I was really self conscious of how dry I was. It was just different, and actually making me kind of sad and lowering my sex drive. Lube was a game changer. And while we don’t “need” to anymore, we still use it.
Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself and Authentic Awareness?
My name is Vanessa Tarfon, I’m a qualified Sex Therapist and founder of Authentic Awareness. I’ve been married for 6 years and together for 14 years! We have two boys under 5 years old. Our house is noisy and busy. My biggest challenge is sharing any spare time between chores and doing something for myself.
I created Authentic Awareness from my passion to help women through challenging circumstances and break the cycle of misinformation about women’s sexual health and relationships. Sexual health is taboo (even in the medical world) but it’s an important component of our health. Connecting to your sexual health and identity promotes confidence, self-esteem, energy and reconnects people. Authentic Awareness offers sex therapy and education to busy, tired mothers through courses and sexual wellness products.
Why is it particularly important to focus on mothers and postpartum relationships?
Firstly, 80% of new mums have no interest in sex but feel pressure to maintain a pre-pregnancy sex life. I was part of this statistic struggling with my sexual identity and desire. I successfully created a sensual revival plan to reconnect with my husband and myself, and have used that plan and experience as the basis to help others.
Secondly, the 6-week postpartum check-up revolves around contraception, skipping sexual functioning information or the psychology of sex. Mothers are left wondering why they experience pain, dryness or low sexual interest. New parents are overwhelmed, tired or embarrassed to ask questions about sex and intimacy but are desperate for answers.
Finally, mothers always put themselves last but it’s unsustainable long-term. Early postpartum disconnection doesn’t start to improve for 10 years and has visible consequences when parents reach their 50s. It’s time to be honest and intervene early to prevent future disappointments and heartache.
What are the key psychological challenges of being intimate postpartum?
The brain is our biggest sex organ. It’s the key to intimacy and what powers your sexual desire and connection. The key challenges with being intimate after a baby are:
What are the key benefits of maintaining connection and intimacy postpartum?
Disengaging from yourself happens almost instantly. Disconnecting from your partner happens just as quickly but often isn’t recognised until later in life when the consequences become obvious.
4 key benefits of preserving connection and intimacy are:
What are your top 4 tips for being intimate postpartum?
What’s your advice for parents or relationships that have hit a breaking point?
See a Sex Therapist or discover your next steps in the privacy and comfort of your own home with the Mama’s Sensual Safari. Sexual and relationship problems are exactly why we are here. We thrive on helping people resolve concerns and we love talking about taboo topics. Having an objective third party can help you overcome barriers and open conversations.
No one should ever feel ashamed, anxious or embarrassed about relationships, intimacy and pleasure. Everyone is entitled and capable of pleasure. Don’t let parenthood interrupt your identity, desire and satisfaction.
]]>
3. Offer to run errands with her: You could always offer to run errands for her, but sometimes new mums want to get out of the house, except doing so with a newborn takes a little bit of time getting used to. So, offer to go to the shops or appointments with her. Many hands make light work.
4. Shower her with compliments: Tell her how much of an incredible job she’s doing. Compliment her at every opportunity. It’s so validating and does wonders for a new mum’s confidence. It’s easy to doubt yourself postpartum. Supportive, encouraging and complimentary friends make the transition a lot nicer.
5. Postpartum is forever: It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of the arrival of a baby and shower new parents with gifts and support in the early weeks. But postpartum is forever and I guarantee that if you were to provide your friends with a gift or an act of service months down the track, they would be forever grateful. Some of the hardest days come well after the excitement has died down. This is often when a new mum needs you most.
6. Chip in for a postpartum doula: The support, nourishment and nurturing that a doula can provide is something that all new mothers deserve. But not all can afford. Get a group of friends together, or a few family members, and chip in and give the gift of a doula.
7. Send a cleaner: A clean space makes for a clear mind. It can be incredibly difficult to keep on top of housework when you have a newborn to care for. Organising a cleaner once a week or once a fortnight is a wonderful way to show a new mum that you care (and know exactly what she needs).
8. Keep her company: Motherhood can be isolating and lonely. Check in on your friend and spend time with her. You don’t need to be doing anything special, just be there with her and for her.
9. Listen up: Sometimes all she needs is a non-judgemental, empathetic ear. It’s not always about providing solutions, but rather support, and helping her feel seen and heard.
10. Do a night shift: If you’re in the inner circle and your friend feels comfortable having you in her space, spend the night. Keep her company and be the extra set of hands that she needs. Settle the baby back to sleep between feeds and protect every precious moment of sleep for mum.
11. Give them the gift of time: together. Becoming parents is a big deal and often changes a relationship greatly. New parents often feel like ships in the night, which can lead to feelings of loneliness. While they might be spending more time together than ever before they often aren’t focussed on one another or pouring time into their relationship. An offer to care for their baby while they nap together or head out for breakfast, lunch or dinner is a fantastic way to show you care.
12. Deliver the essentials: If you’re heading to the shops to pick something up for yourself, send your new-mum friend a text and see if there’s anything she needs. Think bread, milk, coffee, nappies and chocolate. Better yet, take the onus off her and don’t bother with the text. Just assume she needs all of the above (it won’t go to waste), and deliver it to her door.
Ashleigh, a first time mum, shares about the breastfeeding challenges she faced and overcame together with her baby girl, Freya.
Her Story
I spent all my time preparing for BIRTH. Like an exam I was about to sit. It was a ritual for me to take a long bath, listen to the Australian birth stories podcast and think about my baby’s entrance into the world. I spent so much time focussed on that, and so little on what would come next.
When my due date was approaching, I tried every trick in the book- long walks, stairs, bouncing on a fit ball, acupuncture, raspberry leaf tea, spicy curries, sex, meditation, eating copious amounts of pineapple, massage. But bub didn’t budge and I was eventually induced. Whilst it wasn’t the birth I’d envisioned it was an incredible experience, fast, intense. I was informed, had terrific care and a safe delivery via a vaginal birth.
Freya latched within the first hour of being on my chest and the first feed was amazing. I’d done a short (too short!) breastfeeding class and was aware how important that first feed was. So I was elated that she’d latched well. But that first feed was the last feed I’d have in over a month that didn’t have me in tears with toe curling pain.
In all other aspects I recovered well. But breastfeeding was a physical, emotional, and mental challenge. On top of the constant need for bulky ice packs to combat the two heaters sitting in my chest. I was reassured when I sought help that the pain when feeding was normal and I questioned how I’d be able to put up with it, and how did so many other women deal with this pain?! It took a private lactation consultant coming into our home and spending 3 hours with us and understanding my feeding goals before we realised that Freya had an upper lip tie resulting in a poor latch (she couldn’t curl her top lip back). Nipple shields, and improved feeding positions got us on the right path with further support from my lactation consultant.
Yet the pain came back with force, stabbing pain in my breasts. This time I was diagnosed with nipple thrush. Another challenge that I didn’t even know existed! (Yet standing in the pharmacy paying for my treatment ointment, the assistant and another lady in the pharmacy both looked at me emphatically when I told the pharmacist what I needed and then said how they remembered that pain well). Recounting this to friends, more commented they too had experienced this. I was gobsmacked that something seemingly common had never come up in any conversation or preparing before birth.
At 2 months it’s like the fog passed and breastfeeding became the experience I was expecting. But I deeply wished I could redo those first 2 months with the knowledge I have now, and know that severe pain is not normal, and that I’m not alone in these challenges.
I don’t regret any of the birth preparation I did, but I wish I had known to prepare as much for life with a baby and how my world would change. The baby blues also hit me quite hard and I wish I’d known the actual harsh reality of that.
I’m thankful that both the baby blues and breastfeeding challenge were resolved but I aware that it was me reaching out to consultants, friends, family, raising these issues. Rather than support and the necessary education being offered in advance and proactively. It made me realise that so many would struggle alone and silently.
Doing a photo shoot with Freya and especially getting some photos of us feeding is a beautiful memento of an experience that started as an immense challenge for me and blossomed into something that I cherish each time I’m able to feed her.
My name is Alana, I am the co-founder and Naturopath behind Mothers Mylk. I have a women's health clinic located in Brisbane where I support women from preconception through to postpartum. Shannon (co-founder) and I found each other and created Mothers Mylk as we saw there was a huge missing gap in the healthcare system for new mothers.
Our focus at Mothers Mylk is to empower new mum’s with education on how they can support their health in the postpartum and matrescence period, prevent conditions like postpartum depletion and thrive through motherhood. We believe the preparation for postpartum starts well and truly before the birth of your baby, which is why we have created our Pregnancy Nutrition Course and postpartum tool kit (Nourished Postpartum).
Why is nutrition so important during the fourth trimester?
The fourth trimester is the twelve weeks following the birth of your little one. During this time the body is not only recovering from childbirth but also going through major hormonal changes. Our diet provides nutrients which are essential to helping your body adjust and adapt during this transformative time. During this time when breastfeeding is also being established, certain nutrients like iodine, choline and zinc are required in even higher amounts in breastfeeding than at any other time in your life. Without adequate nutrition mothers can often leave the fourth trimester feeling more depleted than ever before.
What are the key elements to a healthy postpartum diet?
For thousands of years cultures all around the world have supported women with specific postpartum nutrition, which places emphasis on warming and slow cooked meals to support healing and restore vitality. Think of your diet as a nice warm hug after birth. We love to put a modern spin on traditional postpartum diets and focus on specific foods which are high in essential nutrients (like chia seeds, fish, ghee and anti-inflammatory spices) while keeping busy mamas in mind with quick and easy to prepare meals!
What are your top 5 tips for postpartum nutrition?
Should new mums take postpartum vitamins and/or supplements?
This really does depend on your health circumstances but as a general recommendation it is recommended that all breastfeeding mothers supplement with iodine.
Certain nutrients like zinc, B-vitamins, magnesium and calcium can be really helpful to support recovery and energy levels during sleep deprivation.
How can we (and others) best support our recovery?
I would encourage all mamas to have follow up blood testing (particularly iron studies, thyroid function and vitamin D) at least 6-8 weeks after the birth of their bub to ensure those nutrients are within optimal ranges! I typically see mamas experiencing depletion at 6-12 months after the birth of their baby and I believe that this is the aftermath of those months prior. If we can put a really good care plan into place in the early days we are much more likely to prevent depletion and burnout.
Could you share one of your favourite recipes with us?
This is such a hard question but I would have to say our Vegetable and Beef Lasagne. It contains 5 different types of vegetables and my son (1yr & fussy) absolutely loves it!
VEGETABLE & BEEF LASAGNE
Prep Time: 25 min Serving Size: 5-6 Cook Time: 70 min
This lasagne is easier to make than you think and such a great way to sneak in an extra serve of vegetables to your daily diet! We love the big batch nature because you can have it for dinner and leftovers for the next day! Beef is one of the best sources of dietary iron, which is a nutrient of high importance to support postpartum recovery.
INGREDIENTS
METHOD
ASSEMBLING THE LASAGNE
Bare Mum does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The resources on our website are provided for informational purposes only. You should always consult with a healthcare professional regarding any medical diagnoses or treatment options.
]]>Top tips for an empowered and supported breastfeeding journey
Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself, your breastfeeding experience, and The Birth Trust?
Hi, I’m Erin. I’m a midwife, a mother of four and the founder of The Birth Trust.
For as long as I can remember I have been fascinated by birth and now, I’m lucky enough to work in a profession that is also my biggest passion. Empathy and my desire to help and support people is at the heart of my practice.
In June 2020, while on maternity leave with my third baby, I began sharing midwifery education and motherhood musings via @thebirthtrust on Instagram. It was a way for me to keep my midwifery hat on while I was knee deep in motherhood. One year later, after numerous requests for private childbirth education classes, I threw caution to the wind and started teaching private, online and face-to-face, antenatal childbirth education.
My own transition to motherhood changed me and it’s this transition that has remarkably transformed my practice as a midwife. Each of my pregnancies, births and breastfeeding journeys have been different and through each I have learned so much. My breastfeeding experiences were peppered with allergies, static weights, oral ties, reflux, breast refusal, nipple damage, forceful-letdown and oversupply. Each hurdle we faced with determination and a deep desire to overcome it in order to continue feeding. There were days and nights that I cried and thought “I can’t continue to do this” but, my motto for breastfeeding was ‘never quit on a bad day’ so we would persevere. The connection and bond I felt with my babies through feeding was something I was never able to let go of easily.
What are the key benefits of breastfeeding?
Breastfeeding is an act of female power and for some women it is an opportunity to regain trust in their body, especially if they feel let down by their birthing experience. It’s an innate mammalian process, but it’s not easy. It’s a learned skill, and like any other learned skill it takes planning, patience and perseverance. Despite the challenges, breastfeeding brings with it a bounty of benefits for both mother and baby.
Colostrum (first milk) and mature milk is jam-packed with antibodies and good bacteria. Breastmilk is a complete food and provides your baby with optimal nutrition. It cleverly adapts to meet your baby’s changing nutritional needs throughout development and during times of illness. Breastfeeding facilitates bonding between mother and baby and reduces the risk of SIDS. Exclusive breastfeeding reduces the risks of colds, middle ear, throat and gut infections and has also been linked to reduced risk of developing diabetes, bowel disease and allergic diseases such as asthma and eczema. People who breastfeed have a reduced risk of developing type 2 diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and ovarian and breast cancers.
Breastfeeding is also a learned skill. While it’s natural, it’s not easy and for some people it unfortunately never gets easier. Learning how to breastfeed, while sleep deprived, with raging hormonal swings, in the midst of recovering from birth all while adjusting to your new life as a parent, is not easy.
For some mothers, continuing to breastfeed can be detrimental to their health and in turn the wellbeing of her baby. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Breastfeeding is not sustainable (long term) if you’re depleted and unwell physically and mentally. This is why it is so important that new parents have the right education and breastfeeding support.
What are your top 5 tips for breastfeeding?
What are some of the breastfeeding positions every mum needs to have in her repertoire?
No two bodies or babies are the same. This means that everyone experiences breastfeeding differently. Thankfully there’s numerous positions that you can try until you find what works for you and your baby. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different positions and holds until you find one that works best.
Three common holds that most breastfeeding people find useful (especially in early breastfeeding) are:
Sometimes rather than focusing on a particular hold or placement of your baby, it can be more helpful to focus on your position in relation to your baby and allow your baby to lead the feed (encourage baby-led attachment). Is your baby ‘tummy to mummy’? Are you holding them nice and close? Are you comfortable with soft, relaxed shoulders? Give your baby freedom to move, anchor themselves with un-swaddled hands that can touch your breasts and give them an opportunity to latch independently. Sometimes doing this results in a more comfortable latch and a more settled baby at the breast.
What are some of the must-have products that have helped you during your own breastfeeding journey?
I believe that the most helpful breastfeeding product to have on hand postpartum is a natural nipple balm. A hot/cold pack for sore engorged breasts is wonderful too.
However, rather than spending loads of money on products and gadgets, my advice is to put that money towards quality antenatal education and/or a lactation consultant that can provide you with breastfeeding knowledge, support, advice and reassurance once your baby has arrived.
Any tips on how to wean your baby and look after yourself during this emotional transition?
Weaning looks different for everyone. Some babies slowly lose interest in the breast, while others require (for whatever reason) more of a ‘deliberate’ mother-led weaning method to conclude the breastfeeding journey. Weaning from numerous feeds in a 24-hour period is a lot harder than weaning from one or two. There are several ways to wean your baby from the breast and I think that if you’re struggling or unsure of how to navigate this, it’s helpful to seek the guidance of a lactation consultant.
From an emotional standpoint, weaning can be incredibly difficult. Not only are you dealing with changing hormones that will greatly affect your mood, you’re also likely mourning the time spent with your baby at the breast and connection that breastfeeds provide. Give yourself time and space to grieve. If you’re able to, consider weaning ‘gradually, with love’ and drop breastfeeds slowly. This will ease the transition for both you and your baby.
Could you share one of your favourite breastfeeding memories with us?
There’s so many! I really struggled during my feeding journey with my third baby and because of allergies I was advised to wean her from the breast and introduce a prescription formula. I remember crying about it for about 4 days before attempting to introduce the formula. Despite my best efforts my daughter refused the formula and we continued to breastfeed. Every feed thereafter felt stolen and even more special, especially the calm, quiet, middle-of-the-night feeds.
Any final thoughts on breastfeeding and what could be done to provide mums with better support?
We need to scrap the ‘it’s free and easy’ narrative and properly prepare people for the harsh realities of breastfeeding. It’s hard. It requires sacrifice, patience, perseverance, support in spades and persistence. In an ideal world pregnancy care providers would have more time and resources to provide all couples with comprehensive antenatal breastfeeding education and follow-up support postnatally.
Bare Mum does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The resources on our website are provided for informational purposes only. You should always consult with a healthcare professional regarding any medical diagnoses or treatment options.
]]>