There is nothing as exciting as when your friend or family member has a baby. Babies just bring endless hours of joy and happiness to the whole family. But if youโre lucky enough to be invited into that newborn bubble, itโs important to remember this visit is about way more than a baby cuddle.
As a midwife and a mum of four, Iโve been on both sides of the newborn visit. So let me walk you through a few gentle reminders to make sure your visit is beautiful, supportive, and not overwhelming for that fresh little family.
1. Start with Mum. Always.
Before you dive into baby mode, take a minute to look that woman in the eye and say,
โYou are incredible. Look what youโve just done.โย
Birthโno matter how it unfoldedโis no small feat. Sheโs just grown, birthed, and now nourishing a whole human being. She deserves to be seen, celebrated, and held, just as much as that new bub.
Sit down and ask her how she is? Ask her if she wants to talk about anything and just listen. We donโt want to give unsolicited advice but we just want to be there for her. Itโs important to be there for her in whatever way she needs.ย
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2. Bring Gifts for Mum, Not Just Baby
Yes, teeny outfits and soft blankets are adorable. But do you know what she really wants?
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A hot, nourishing meal she doesnโt have to cook
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Bare Mum Postpartum Briefs, Warm & Cool Inserts, and Herbal Infused Postpartum Pads.ย
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A herbal tea blend for postpartum recovery
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Maybe a voucher for a house clean or a meal delivery service
These are the things that say: โI see you. Iโve got you.โ
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3. If There are siblings, make them feel special!
The older siblings? Theyโve just had their whole world flipped.
Take a moment to crouch down and ask about their day, their toys, their latest masterpiece.
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Avoid โArenโt you lucky to have a baby brother/sister?โ on repeat. Instead, just make them feel seen and important without turning the spotlight away from them too soon.
I think itโs always helpful if you bring them a tiny gift of their ownโnothing fancy, just something that says, โHey, I remembered you too.โ This could be a small toy car or even a chocolate.ย
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4. Be mindful when holding the baby.
Remember that it shouldnโt be an expectation that you get to hold the baby, donโt ask and only hold bub if the parents offer you. Newborns are precious, vulnerable, and adjusting to life earth-side. Before you do get a cuddle:
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Wash your hands
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Skip the perfume
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Absolutely no smoke residue
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And pleaseโdonโt kiss the baby. Ever. Unless youโre the parent, itโs a no.
Always remember, youโre there to support the whole family.
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5. Want to Be Helpful? Actually Be Helpful.
This is the time to stop asking โWhat can I do?โ and start doing. Often if you ask โwhat can I do?โ the answer will be nothing. So instead, hereโs a list of things you can just do:
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Fold the washing
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Load the dishwasher
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Bring snacks and put them within armโs reach of the feeding chair
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Offer to take older kids outside for 30 mins
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Make a cup of tea and hand it to her hot
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Ask if sheโs eaten, then quietly deliver a snack
This phase is tender and raw and full of adjustment. The best kind of visitor is one that brings calm, not chaos.
Visiting a new baby is a privilege. If you're welcomed into that postpartum bubble, come with love, softness, and the kind of energy that makes things lighter, not louder.
Because the greatest gift you can give that new family isnโt a baby toy or a swaddleโitโs feeling seen, supported, and not alone in this messy beginning.ย
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Written by Lauren Brenton, Endorsed Midwife & Mum of four
Founder One Mama Midwife