This story is part of The Wall of Wombs, our 2024 exhibition sharing honest, deeply personal journeys of motherhood.
What you’re reading is a direct transcription of a spoken story — shared bravely, in the speaker’s own words.
Listen to this story and explore others at wallofwombs.com.
I’m currently 38 weeks and six days. It feels surreal. It’s gone incredibly quickly. I’ve really enjoyed it.
I found the first up until about 16 weeks quite challenging. You’re not really showing yet. You’ve got a bit of a belly, but it’s not particularly hard. It’s semi wobbly, and it doesn’t really feel like a proper bump or like a proper baby’s in there. So I found that quite hard to adjust. But then, as I started to show and the bump became more round and hard and obvious, I just fell in love with it and I really love it now. I find myself kind of holding it all the time, giving it a cuddle with my arms.
It’s so funny talking to my mom about it. She’s so excited. But I keep forgetting I actually need to give birth to this baby. I keep imagining life with a baby, but I keep forgetting that I have to give birth. Moms are so matter of fact or the older generation. They would say,
“Well, it’s the most natural thing in the world. You’ll be fine. And you got it.”
“Yes, okay, you’re right. So tell me again about your birth stories. Did you have any intervention? Did you use any?”
“No, no, no, just pushed it out.”
So funny. You kind of think, “Oh my gosh, things have changed so much.”
It’s really important to accept that it is a very individual journey. I’m someone who does compare a lot, and I know that comparison is the complete thief of joy. I try and remind myself of that, but in those moments when you’re seeing what other people are buying or the knowledge that they have, when they share their knowledge, although it’s really helpful, you sometimes think, “Oh God, I didn’t know that. Oh, I hadn’t read that. Maybe I should have read that.” So that’s definitely been one of the challenges and just really accepting that. This is a personal journey. My baby is going to be unique and I want that. None of us want to mold our children like others. So why not celebrate that uniqueness and that unique journey from the very beginning?
I’ve grown up with lots of babies and children around me. So I feel really comfortable and confident. I just can’t wait to have my own. You hear people talk about that bond and how special it is. I’m so looking forward to having that. I love everyone else’s babies, but I can’t wait to have that special connection with my own. I also can’t wait to see the connection between my partner and the baby as well. And just becoming a little family of three. It’s such a unique time. It’s a completely new chapter in my life becoming a mom and to be able to talk about it in a semi uncomfortable situation, but all moms so far have been so warm and welcoming.
I wasn’t daunted by it. I was excited by it. It’s so new for me, but I would just say celebrate that individual journey. It’s definitely been a learning curve for me. I don’t think it necessarily comes naturally. There’s so much noise out there. And I’ve been really trying to navigate how I listen to it and absorb the information. Especially with social media, you kind of think, “Why am I getting overwhelmed by this random woman that I don’t know where she lives and I’ve just come across her on Instagram?”
Really go with your gut and try not to get swept up in too much of the noise. Just enjoy it. Enjoy every moment. Things are going to change very rapidly and quite commonly. Just when you think that you’re in one phase of your pregnancy or motherhood, something might change. Just accept it because it’s going to be a journey until your child leaves home when they’re 18, probably or maybe 30, I don’t know.