The holidays can be a beautiful time of connection, but they can also bring expectations and pressures that feel especially heavy when you’re recovering and caring for a newborn. Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out, it’s about protecting your energy, honouring your healing, and creating space for the rhythm you and your baby need.
Some people will accept your “no” with ease, and others simply won’t. That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. This is a tender, transformative season, and choosing yourself (and your baby) is something to feel proud of. Your boundaries are an act of care, and they matter.
1. Pressure to Travel With a Newborn
Whether it’s a road trip or a flight, family may expect you to show up regardless of sleep deprivation, logistics, or feeding needs.
How To Say No:
“Thank you for wanting us there. Right now travel isn’t what’s best for me or the baby, so we’ll be staying home this year. I hope you understand, and we’d still love to connect in a way that works for us.”
2. Being Asked to Cook or Host
Even simple requests like “just bring a dish” can feel enormous when you’re caring for a newborn and recovering yourself.
How To Say No:
“I really appreciate being included, but I’m not taking on any cooking or hosting this year. I’m focused on recovering and caring for the baby. I can join in a low-key way, and am happy to pick up some easy snacks or something ready made, but I can’t take on extra tasks.”
3. Being Expected to Buy Lots of Gifts
Financial strain, emotional labour, and the time involved in shopping and wrapping can be overwhelming for anyone, but especially in early postpartum.
How To Say No:
“We’re keeping things very simple this year. Both time and budget are stretched so we won’t be doing big gifts, but we’re really excited to share the day together.”
4. Unsolicited Comments About Post-Baby Bodies
Remarks about losing baby weight or “getting your body back” can be deeply intrusive or triggering, and sadly the holidays and events centred on food seem to be a time of “sharing thoughts”.
How To Say No:
“I know your comments may come from a good place, but I’m not focusing on my body right now. I’m giving myself time and kindness postpartum, and I’d appreciate it if we could steer the conversation away from weight or appearance.”
5. People Wanting to Hold the Baby Constantly
Loving family members and friends can unintentionally push past your comfort level with passing the baby around or overstimulating them. It’s perfectly natural to feel this way.
How To Say No:
“I know you love them, and it means a lot. I’m keeping holding time limited today because the baby, and me sometimes, get easily overstimulated. I’ll let you know when it’s a good moment.”
6. Pressure to Stay Longer Than Planned
Leaving early to feed, rest, or maintain a nap rhythm may be met with guilt-tripping or pressure to stay “like the old you".
How To Say No:
“We’ve had a lovely time, but we need to head off now to keep the baby - and me - in a good rhythm. Thanks for understanding that things are different this year. We’ll see you again soon!”
7. Visitors Dropping In Unannounced
Holiday busyness can blur boundaries, leading to unexpected drop-ins at a time when rest and privacy are essential.
How To Say No:
“I’d love to see you, but I really need notice before visits right now. Today doesn’t work, but let’s find another time that suits us both.”
8. Being Asked to Share or Change the Baby’s Schedule
Comments like “Can’t you just skip this nap?” can put unnecessary pressure on a routine that protects everyone’s wellbeing.
How To Say No:
“I know the schedule can feel limiting, but it’s really important for the baby’s wellbeing, and mine. We need to stick to it, and I’ll join in where I can.”
9. Feeling Pushed Into Photos or Social Media Posts
Relatives and friends may want to take photos with the baby, share them online, or request holiday-themed pictures. Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to privacy, and your boundaries here are completely valid.
How To Say No:
“I’m keeping things private right now and not doing photos or social media for the baby. Thanks so much for respecting that. We’re happy to share any photos we take with you privately.”
10. Receiving Unwanted Advice
From “Just let them cry” to “We always did it this way”, advice can feel undermining when you’re navigating new motherhood.
How To Say No:
“I appreciate that you care and want to help. We’re confident following a different approach that’s been working well for us, so we’ll be sticking with that. Thanks for understanding.”